“Congratulations!!! I am so happy for you. You have accomplished what you had been running for since past few years. And what a match, made in heaven!!!” is what everyone is telling her when they greet her on the center stage of the most awaited night in her life. She is smiling the way she always did, a sheepish grin in her head is in sync with content ex-pression of her heart and she just cannot help but let the amalgamation reflect on the foreground. Draped in red, with a layer of artifacts to enhance her beauty and to cover her dark side, a cover to subside the guilt which lays in some remote corner of her heart. This Pretense – This glorious pretense, how could I not understand what made her pick that phrase which she tagged against her name. I always thought her to be the answer to my prayers, a godsend angel who was the epitome of love and trust. She moves down the alley for the final proceedings of the grand ceremony while I drain down the memory lane trying to fit all the missing pieces of the jigsaw puzzle. “If you look closely, you would realize, everyone has a crack in their personalities.” A phrase which was a tagline of a film I loved, but could have never associated with any of the closest people around me. There is nothing I can do now, but watch. For the loss I have suffered is for a non existing affection. A soft nutshell coated with thick layer of love is what I had been savoring all these years, until it cracked one day and I discovered, what it had been covering inside was something that had all the ingredients to eradicate the very existence of humanitarian ex-pression. The image I had been fond of all along never existed; it was just a reflection of what I wanted to see. The mirror than shone had nothing but cracks which I could never lay my eyes on. The entire happy circle gathers around for the last ritual, where they all stand a witness to the knot being tied between the two on the grounds of faith, truth, devotion, love and trust. As the holy enchantments begin, am skeptical if she was contemplating for a moment on what she had done, but am more convinced that her headstrong pretense convinced her with innumerable pseudo logical reasons to believe she was clean of her past and her present and would be of her coming future. Her clan, since the ancient days was considered to be the worshipers of The Almighty, standing alongside them in the podium and maybe her little forced apology would suffice and gratify them all and help her come off her guilt throughout her life from that moment on. For me, he exists in my heart and his resting place had been crucified by her without utmost inhumanity. I would mend it, but the scars would always remain prominent. They slide the rings in each other’s fingers and spread happiness in the vicinity. She might be remembering some unforgettable moments spent in the past, but her head is way too strong to overpower all her senses and her heart too.

The glitter in the eyes of her folks signifies the level of dignity they feel on calling her their daughter. The smile on her brother’s face affirms his faith in having the greatest sibling in the whole wide world. A sense of pride and happiness clotting the groom tells him that this is what he had been waiting for all his life and how much he is thankful to the almighty for it. And she is just a shimmering mirror, reflecting the emotions of each one of them around, but it’s only the fortunate few, who would remember that every sparkling mirror is painted black on the other side. She had set the rules of engagement to take the control of her life. I lost my faith in her and the almighty. She can never win it back, even though it doesn’t mean anything to her anymore, but my faith in my creator is yet to be resurrected. I have to take control of my life, for it is not hungry for someone’s mercy or sympathy and I leave the almighty to take care of hers for she would need him more than I do. I remember watching this Oscar Winner American Beauty (1999) and just fell in love with it. The movie closes with a statement by the protagonist which I could understand then, but couldn’t feel. I am beginning to feel a little bit of it now. “I guess I could be pretty pissed off about what happened to me... but it's hard to stay mad, when there's so much beauty in the world. Sometimes I feel like I'm seeing it all at once, and it's too much, my heart fills up like a balloon that's about to burst... And then I remember to relax, and stop trying to hold on to it, and then it flows through me like rain and I can't feel anything but gratitude for every single moment of my stupid little life... You have no idea what I'm talking about, I'm sure. But don't worry... you will someday.”

-- May God give her peace and happiness.